Dear Faith Family,
The word fidelity is probably not a part of your everyday vocab. Unless you are an avid Wendell Berry fan (like me!), you may have had few run-ins with the fifteenth-century French word. We're more likely to use words like trustworthy or faithful to describe a person who keeps her or his commitments, who adheres to the reality of life through relationship. While fidelity implies the same integrity of duty as our usual descriptors, the word also discloses what it takes to live true to the bonds we make and make us. Fidelity is: faithfulness to a person, a way of life, or a community, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support.
As we discussed on Sunday, like the Seventh Word ("You shall not commit adultery"), the word fidelity presumes that life is made good through integrity in our bound relationships. Like the Sixth Word, the seventh is not merely a prohibition against an act fundamentally destructive and dishonoring of relationship; it is a directive to nurture the relational bonds of our commitments continuously. So, when we stop cultivating the relationships in which we are bound, it can be said that we are practicing in-fidelity--even if by "the letter of the law," we've remained faithful.
Our scriptures tell the story of humans (individuals and entire civilizations) constantly binding themselves to something or someone in order to live. Even if the image offends our modern tastes, living bound has never been an issue for humanity. Faithful, committed relationship has actually been how we have survived over the millennia. Our problem is remaining true for the long haul to the bonds that produce flourishing.
Like we said on Sunday, "adultery" is the action and word that epitomizes our inconsistent loyalty to others. Adultery is not merely the failure to keep the letter of a covenant, not solely the dereliction of duty or expectation. Adultery is the breaking of commitment through entanglement with someone or something other than the one you are committed to. As 1 Corinthians 6 reveals, adultery is giving what belongs to another (person/Way/community)--that is, your body or heart, spirit or soul--to someone/thing to which you are not bound.
From the opening chapters of our story (see Gen. 3), we discover that our loyalty is under perpetual persuasion away from what is true, good, and beautiful. So while you may not "technically" commit adultery, you, like me, have entangled some part of yourself with someone/thing in disloyalty of your bound relationships--whether through willful action or apathy. Good thing for us; from the opening chapters of our story (see Gen. 3), we discover that despite our consistent inconsistencies, One is endlessly demonstrating continuous loyalty and support to our relationship with Him.
Out of reverence for the fidelitous One, through whom we've received and continue to live in grace upon grace, let's keep the Seventh Word by following His lead, demonstrating our loyalty by intentionally nurturing our bound relationships. You might call this intentional nurturing, loving the ones you're bound to like you love yourself. The apostle Paul did (see Ephesians 5:21-33).
Just imagine how true your heart would remain if you started off each day asking the Spirit to lead you, in the same way Jesus did, to "understand and support," honor, and respect those you're committed to so that everything you do and say might "bring out their best." After all, don't we ask Him to lead others to do the same for us? Add in the devotion cultivated if you were to listen to the voices encouraging and challenging your fidelity to others, not just your contentment, much like Jesus did, and there'd be little room for someone/thing else to get entangled in your bound relationships.
Being faithful to our essential-to-flourishing relationships takes work. No matter how frayed or secure the bonds of our relationships may be at this moment, each day, we have the opportunity, by the Spirit, to cultivate fidelity or something less.
For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap decay,
but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap life unending.
And let us not grow weary of doing good,
for in due season we will reap,
if we do not give up.
(Galatians 6:8-9)
Might we know our lovers' grace in our failings, and experience the "very good" of lives lived true to God and others.
Love you, faith family! God bless.